Deena Bingham
Hello again! I am going to talk about exercise and your health today. I want to clarify that even though I have Lupus and talk about this mostly, my blog pretty much deals with any chronic condition or disease. I feel they all go hand in hand, no matter the label, name or symptoms the struggles are all the same!
For several years I was hospitalized a lot and after each discharge I always felt frustrated. Each time I would gain tons of weight from the Solumedrol (steroids) and other medications. I was swollen and pardon my choice of words, I always felt like a bloated, beached whale. Once I got home after thousands of mg’s of Solumedrol I wanted to eat everything in sight and for a few years I did, packing on the weight and telling myself it wasn’t me making the choice to eat this much, it was the steroids. I also didn’t listen to my lovely doctor about my food allergies. I still occasionally ate what I wasn’t supposed. Added to the additional food intake was the fact that I didn’t have the energy, strength or motivation to exercise at all. I told myself this was the diseases fault and my lot in life. But the danger in this kind of thinking is you begin to believe it. Don’t get me wrong, it is very difficult and sometimes impossible for someone with a chronic illness to exercise, both physically and mentally. Sometimes your just can’t do it. Or so I used to think. I have learned to balance the stages after a flare. I had to! I was worried if I continued to be as sick as I was I wouldn’t be alive to be a part of my children and grand children’s lives. I came to the conclusion that I needed to be fanatical, my husband even gave me permission to be a fanatic, he felt it was the only logical choice to make :-). This is the only life I am going to get! If you will allow be to be frank, I didn’t want to die. I was going to do everything I could about the things that were in my control.
Changing my way of thinking took a few years from point A to Point B which may seem like a lifetime, but think of it this way, a year is going to go by anyway why not strive to adopt a healthier lifestyle in that year.
I have tried yoga, swimming, walking and a whole host of other forms of exercise that are considered low impact and while you may find that one of these or other forms works best for you, not all of them worked for me. I can only tell you about my journey to figure it out and hope that you embark on your own journey to find what fits you best, remember, baby steps. When I exercise my pain has never really gone away as with most auto-immune and other chronic diseases, but it does lessen and you do learn to manage it. I truly believe in the body’s ability to heal itself, my story below and other’s are proof of this.
I started with a membership at the YMCA in 2010. I tried weights but found that my joints did not respond well to weights and it caused too much pain that did not lessen with time. Next I tried swimming but between the multiple hospitalizations, not really knowing how to do it and my lack of motivation I eventually just gave up. Then for a couple of years I really didn’t do a lot of physical exercise.The weight gain, the pain and my mental state did not lend well to it. I tried yoga, which is wonderful, but my body did not tolerate it well at the time, but it is something I eventually will go back to and explore. I did try sporadically ,when I felt better, to walk or hike but it was never really consistent enough to be considered an exercise program. The stopping and starting and all the other factors of my life combined made my attempts at physical activity just not enough.
Skip ahead to October of 2014. I had enough! As stated above, I became fanatical about my physical health. I liked swimming so I learned how to truly swim laps. If you don’t know how to do something, learn! Lack of knowledge is not an excuse in present day, there are experts, articles, you tube videos, etc everywhere! You can learn to do just about anything now on the internet. All it takes is the commitment, time and patience. Read, read, read and then re-read! Watch videos and then watch them again. This is what I did to learn how to swim. I read articles for best practices. I learned the strokes and watched you tube videos on how to implement them. That being said the first few times I went into the pool I really felt and probably looked like an idiot but I did not let this stop me! For weeks I swallowed water and floundered but I practiced my technique over and over again. I learned how to swim laps properly and I also figured out what strokes I could do (the freestyle being the only one that didn’t hurt me). This continued for a couple of months and I went from being able to do only one lap, to 10 to 32 (64 lengths) which was a huge accomplishment for me. Well, being me, an obsessive nerd, I forgot to factor into the equation that I still had a chronic illness, I still had Lupus. My body rebelled and I ended up in the hospital again in January of 2015. I had pushed myself and my body too far. I tell you this because I want you to know early on what I realized only after failure: everything in moderation, know your limits and don’t push yourself beyond them.
Short version, after being hospitalized again, a shoulder injury, constant neck pain and a very expensive swim watch I realized swimming was not for me and went back to the drawing board and recently decided to give it up all together. I didn’t see it as a failure this time though, I saw it as a lesson learned of what’s best for me.
During the summer of 2015 I tried walking. I did what I usually do and I read everything I could about it. I have read tons of articles about proper technique, one article I read was about why some indigenous cultures don’t have back pain and five ways you can improve your posture: Lost Posture: Why Some Indigenous Cultures May Not Have Back Pain , I found it very useful, especially the tip about keeping your glute muscles tight when you walk, I do it almost all the time now and it has truly helped me, lessened my pain and improved my posture, (I also get body work from my doctor who is an osteopathic physician, which is another post). Here is another article that I found helpful: Exercise Walking for Better Back Health. Just keep searching, you can type any question into a browser to get info and if you don’t find what you want change your wording. Sometimes I type in whole sentences with my key words.
After learning my lesson about being too intense. Taking my own advice I learned how to walk for better health in baby steps. When I felt well I walked 1/4 mile or so two or three times. It took awhile but I had to stop beating myself up or chastising myself because my workout wasn’t progressing as fast as I wanted. I had to learn to stop being in competition with myself. Consistence was the key. No matter how I felt I had to get out there and do something. Eventually working up to 5 miles 2 or 3 days a week when I feel well, 1/4 to 1 1/2 miles when I don’t.
Last fall I even did a 5 mile hike , Old Mitchell Trail
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And Carver’s Gap hike which is a 5 miles round trip as well. ,
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It was a huge accomplishment for me and made me fall in love with hiking. I was so excited and grateful that I could do it. There was a point not long before this that I could not walk 500 feet without being exhausted. and I know I will be there again, but we all need to remember every day will be different for us. We are not training for a marathon. We are training for the rest of our lives to have our best life. Stay focused and remember a 5 minute walk is better than nothing and allow yourself to walk only 5 minutes without guilt.
I have found a new passion. I truly am inspired by walking, hiking and the nature that surrounds me. I feel at peace and find that I am able to do a lot of praying and thinking while I walk. It’s one of the few activities that allow my too active brain to slow down and give me peace. Lately I haven’t been feeling well and the last few weeks it has been difficult for me to exercise. Last week I had my port removed and a new one put in. I have been really sore but I wanted to at least walk a little bit because mentally I really needed some physical exertion. Feeling frustrated and having one of those days. I was feeling anxious about a lot of things. Regaining my strength after my recent flare and worried about whether I could really write this blog and if it would be well received just to name a few. As I walked I prayed for inspiration and encouragement. God did not disappoint me! My walk in the park was motivating and inspirational, it was just what I needed physically and mentally! The photo of the bird at the beginning of this post I took in one shot with my iPhone! Wow! Pretty amazing. I had just prayed for inspiration and look what God sent me, an inspirational reminder in the form a of photo. I pray that you find your passion and inspiration.
There is more I can write about exercise but the key point I am trying to make is to add little bits at a time. It is a proven fact that the more you do the more you can do. Be an active participant in your health. Physical exercise is important for your mental and physical well being. I find when I don’t get any physical exertion is when I start to spiral mentally. When I flare I slowly ease back into the routine and try to remember we are not normal, we have an illness that prevents us from jumping back in too quickly to any exercise routine. But instead of feeling frustrated that you have to start over, be proud that you are. Let starting over with baby steps every time you flare be your norm. Don’t look at it as a disadvantage, be grateful. Grateful that you able to start over. Grateful for this wonderful life. Grateful that you have the ability to be the best you can be and do the best with what you are given. Even if you use a cane or walker there is some kind of physical activity that you can do. Start it, build on it and make it a part of your daily life. Don’t give up. Someday you will look back and see how far you have come. Know that each time your start over after a flare it will get easier and easier and the time between flares with the proper attitude, health, diet and medicine cocktail, will get longer. You just have to make the commitment to find what works best for you, even if it takes years to do so and then stick with it.
Once again thank you for letting me ramble and for being a part of my journey. I pray this post helps you in some small way. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and I hope I gave you some encouragement today in knowing you do not fight this battle alone. Take the time today to find your joy, inspiration & passion! God Bless you all and talk to you again soon. Please comment or send me a message on my contact page if you have any suggestions or just need to talk. Deena 🙂
