Hello, my name is Deena. I am just like you; a wife, a mom, a grandma, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a farmer, a writer, an artist, a business owner, a member of a church and a community, a Christian and so much more!
It has been ten years since I was diagnosed with Lupus/Lupus Meningitis. My own immune system attacks and dislikes me! I have also been diagnosed recently with Crohn’s & IBS. During those years I went though a lot of ups and downs, both physically and mentally. I let the disease define who I was. After all of the at least 20 hospitalizations for meningitis and flares I would start over. But it never seemed to be enough. I used to feel guilty for being sick and constantly discouraged. Always feeling like I was doing something wrong. Even with a diagnosis I felt like a hypochondriac! Silly I know. In 2016 I wrote the words above and the words following in italics “In late 2014 I decided to drastically change my life and be intentional! I was worried that I would not be here to live a long full life with my husband or see my children grow and have children. I have been given one life and I want to live it fully! I took control of my disease. I found a balance between my medicines and supplements. I changed my eating habits and monitored all of my nutrition. I changed my attitude and mental outlook AND I pursued and communicated with God more in my prayer life, meditation places a key role in battling stress and disease. I also have wonderful doctors who communicate with each other and who partner with me! If your doctor does not communicate with you, you need a new doctor!” Unfortunately I have had many ups and downs since I first wrote those words. My body has been rejecting my meds since Fall of 2018 and I am unable to find the balance I once had. My attitude and mental outlook has plummeted and I continue to be full of anxiety and depression as I fight to find my balance between disease and quality of life once again. I still have a prayer life and wonderful doctors and through God, my support system and my doctors I will continue to fight.
I still battle daily physically and mentally and I am fighting to get back to these words I also wrote in 2016 ” BUT I have learned that my disease does not define me. No matter the final outcome, eventual cure or not it does NOT define me. It does NOT dictate how I live my life and it does NOT define what kind of person I am. I am not Deena with Lupus, I am Deena a child of God! All I can do is start over everyday, pick myself up when I fail and know that I belong to God. He has a plan for me”.
God bless you all and I hope and pray that this blog will help you celebrate your triumphs with you and make your obstacles a little bit easier to handle. Find you joy today!
