Deena Bingham
I’m so stressed out! My routine is gone and I’ve spiraled into that dark place of wearing blinders and denial of what needs to get done. I keep telling myself one step, one day at a time but my anxiety and panic are getting the best of me. I’m reading an article right now on trying to make and keep a daily routine. At the moment, I feel like I have no structure, no purpose and no peace. I don’t why this happens to me periodically, does it happen to others? I’m pretty sure I do it to myself, it’s very hard to turn my brain off and once I get into the habit of being stressed out, or having too many things to do that’s when my physical and mental health suffers. Marcus Aurelius wrote: “When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.” This is how I want to wake in the mornings and how I want to live my life. I want to find joy in all things. I know God tells me that this is possible, but it is usually not a state that I find myself in without trying very, very hard and I would very much like it to be a state I find naturally. I am trying to find my way back to having a routine and my joy. Routine is good for everyone from infants to adults. I find I do much better with a daily routine.
The article talks about ten things you can do to naturally heal your anxiety and improve your focus: (If you’d like to read it yourself, here is the link: https://medium.com/personal-growth/10-things-you-can-do-this-morning-to-heal-your-anxiety-d1e320aef4b1
- Wake up early 2. Make your bed. 3. Meditate/Pray. 4. Take a cold shower (I guess cold showers aren’t just for guys 😉 hehehehehehe. 5. Go for a Walk. 6. Brain dump at desk. 7. Gratitude. 8. Morning three. 9. MITs. 10. Deep work.
Wake up Early: Wake at the same time daily, leaving myself time to get things done and get where I need to go is an awesome concept. It will give me more time to focus on things like spending quiet time with God, self-care, devotions, writing and reading that don’t happen if I am rushing. Start small and build up the article states. In theory this is an awesome way to live your life, but I always have way too high of expectations for myself. I am an instant gratification sort of person and when I decide to do something it’s usually full steam ahead. Then I get frustrated because I can’t sustain it. I need to remind myself while starting this process to regain my routine I need to give myself time to adapt. After all, it took me many months to get out of a routine, I need to give myself time to get back into one.
Make my bed: This article states this allows me to successfully create a task first thing in the morning, which will build momentum for the rest of my day. No matter how stressful my day becomes, I can always make my bed and if that is all I complete in the day: it’s a success. Right now I’ll take any successes I can get.
Meditate/Devotion/Pray: According to studies meditation helps reduce psychological stresses like anxiety, depression, and pain. Unfortunately I have tried meditating and I can’t stop my thoughts, I open my eyes, I look around, I have a hard time just being in that moment. I even do this during prayer time with others or at church, my brain just does not shut off. The article goes on to say that is okay if you further explore your mindfulness through meditation you can bring so much more clarity and healing into your life. By being present in that moment I can start seeing the patterns of chatter that go on in my head on a day to day basis. It’s not about stopping these thoughts, but being more aware of them and act on them skillfully, this will help make changes in my life. It took the author months to acquire a routine of meditation/prayer. I miss my daily quiet times with God and very much want them back. I believe if the author can do it so can I! Practice, Practice and more practice.
Cold shower: What?! When I first read this my feelings were a resounding “no way!”, Apparently the science behind cold exposure isn’t new. It has numerous health benefits to help with anxiety, depression, and circulation among other things. I did notice a rain room at a spa once in England, the idea was to go into the very hot sauna then run through the ice cold showers of rain. brrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I did it but it wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed. The science says that short cold showers can not only help anxiety and depression but also alleviate it all together. Nikolai Shevchuk from the Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine states that cold showers stimulate the locus ceruleous or “blue spot”, which is the brains primary source of noradrenaline which helps to mediate depression and anxiety. Because the body is invaded by a hostile factor, the ice cold water, it stimulates a healing response in the body and can lead to lower levels of anxiety, depression and other benefits. Apparently two to three minutes once or twice a day. Starting with a five minute gradual adaptation to the changes in temperature. Start the shower hot and then slowly turn down the temperature of the water until the last two or three minutes are pure ice. Shevchuk states that this will strengthen the body’s parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems, increase circulation and contract your muscles to eliminate toxins and poisonous wastes. I’m going to give this a try but at the moment my mind and body are screaming “noooooooooooo”. I’ll let you know it goes!
Go for a walk: This one is pretty self explanatory. I know that physically walking helps the Lupus, but it also helps me mentally. How many times have I posted about it?! I just have gotten out of the routine of it. Not driving my daughter to gymnastics everyday I no longer have those few hours to just wait and walk. I also have had to change the locale of where I walk, which has become a hinderance. In a nutshell, I am a chicken. I am afraid of the woods! I know, it’s silly. I live in the middle of a 160 acres completely surrounded by woods! I am not sure my fear is caused by my living in the city growing up and being worried about being attacked by people or my fear of being attacked by a coyote or bear. I’m thinking its probably a bit of both. I will walk our road in front of the property alone, but not the ten miles of marked hiking trails I send my Airbnb guests on every day alone. I know! It’s a little insane. I’ve tried to get over the irrational fear of being alone in the woods, but so far nothing has worked. But, I will continue to try and get past it. No promises on this one, though in theory I would love to be a meanderer that walks through my woods everyday.
Brain dump at desk: “Could bitching and moaning on paper for 5 minutes each day changed your life? As crazy as it may seem, I believe the answer is yes.” – Tim Ferriss. I want to be a writer, I am a writer, I strive to be a writer, I’m not a good writer, I’m a pretend writer, what kind of writer am I?, : These thoughts run through my head constantly and deep down I feel like I am a writer and I really really want to be one. In my head I turn everything into a story. I think you’re either a writer or your not, but I allow time and life to get in the way with no commitment, thus the long breaks in between my posts. When I sit down to write, I am a writer, I write non stop and I can sit in a chair for hours and days as long as no one or life interrupts me. Case in point: I just answered a phone call from my daughter, I got up, talked to her as I walked around my kitchen and then after hanging up instead of going back to my desk, I went to look at my fermenting Kombucha and taste it, I was sidetracked once again. I read posts constantly about scheduling your writing time, as much time a day as you have, even if its just for 30 minutes at a time. I CAN’T do that. I have tried, it’s not in my DNA. It takes me 30-60 minutes just to calm my brain enough to begin writing, but once my fingers find their groove they type non-stop. Once interrupted though, it takes me an hour again to collect my thoughts and calm my mind. So, does this way of writing not make me a writer? Or do I need to just find my routine again? I am not sure, I wonder if most writers need six to eight hour blocks of time to write and write well or is this just the way I am wired as a writer. Then these thoughts ramble around in my head and my brain starts telling me that this makes me not a writer since I can’t just do it at the drop of a hat. Even journaling for me is sporadic. I’ve been journaling as long as I can remember, probably since I learned to write. I can write every day for months, or every week, and then other times it’s a whole year in between journal and blog entries. I’ve never quite figured out why this is so. Another argument perhaps is that I am not a writer, I just really, really want to be one (I mean let’s face it my grammar and sentence structure really sucks). But then how can I not be a writer if I’ve been attempting it since I was a small child. It’s a horrible dilemma to have these contradicting thoughts and dialogue running constantly through my head. I digress once again, to stay on topic, the article points out that the purpose of journaling is to create a vessel of clarity and resilience. Taking your thoughts from anxious to empowered. A great way to put pen to paper and give yourself a view of your internal dialogue which provides brain clarity and detachment from thoughts. It sounds like this is exactly what I need!
Gratitude Practice (In your Journal). The author writes three things a day he is grateful for. He states not to constantly repeat you’re grateful for God, family and life. We already know we are grateful for those things, or I do anyway. This gratitude practice is about becoming more aware of the little things in life, that if gone would be missed. This practice can help to appreciate life more and reduce anxiety. Some of the examples given to write about are: a person: it can always be the same person and you write why you’re grateful for them or it can be a different person every day to realize just how many people you are truly grateful for. Second, small object close by: the wind blowing through the trees, warmth of your tea or coffee mug, the silence at your desk, bedroom or wherever you are writing. Lastly, something you would miss if it were gone: heat, the ability to walk, running water, your laptop, etc. I spend way too much time worrying about, well, EVERYTHING! I truly want to spend more time be grateful.
Manifest your morning three (In your Journal): One: 3 affirmations about yourself, which I think is awesome because most times instead of affirming myself I tend to constantly look at my faults and failures. Two: What do I get to enjoy today – This will help give you something to look forward to and put you in a positive mood to see your day like a glass half full rather than half empty. Three: Daily Intention – Start the day with one intention and stick to it: “I will be present today” or “I will find the joy in everything that happens today” or “I will look for God in all circumstances today” or “I will go pet a goat today”. It doesn’t matter as long as you find something to give your day purpose.
MITs (In your Journal): The three most important tasks I need to get done today. A basic play of attack for your to do list. My to do list is insane, I write it and it takes up an entire page, I tend to cause myself to have panic attacks and anxiety over the enormity of all I have to do and get done. If I stress too much then I historically just retreat into my shell of denial and don’t do anything except eat ice cream and watch netflix. If any of you are my friends and happen to call me and I am binge watching tv crime, Pride & Prejudice, Two Weeks Notice or Dirty Dancing then you should worry about me and come rescue me from myself.
This author writes down the 3-5 thing every morning that is give him the most stress, what’s been pushed off for days and absolutely has to be done. Don’t write more than 5, only the 3-5 MOST important and prioritize. Some questions to ask yourself to help to prioritize are. What task completed will make all the others obsolete? What task do I have the most anxiety about? What task will move me closer to accomplishing my number one goal (He didn’t mention this but I bet you have to have a goal list somewhere as well).
60-90 minutes of deep work on #1 MIT prior to looking at email or social media. I have a horrible habit of waking up, rolling over and grabbing my phone. Immediately checking texts, emails, social media and the amount of sleep my fitbit says I received. I am probably a bit obsessive about this, I HAVE to know every morning how much REM, Deep, Light and times awake I have. I don’t know why but I just have this powerful need to know! Waking up this way gives me no structure, purpose or peace. This is starting my day already set up for failure by not being purposeful or intentional about how my day is operated.
Mark Twain said: “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first”. Block of 90 minute of time to focus solely on what needs to be done. According to psychologists, the first hours of your day are the best for maximizing productivity and when you’re the most focused. Again, this will also help with anxiety.
My goal now is to make this list sustainable. I always tell people it’s hard to be a type A personality with two chronic diseases. I ALWAYS bite off more than I can chew. I don’t think I do this because I can’t say no, I believe I do it because its part of who I am as a person. Then when I am not physically well the guilt of telling someone I am not available or can’t complete a task is overwhelming! I have to stop this vicious cycle, once again! I have to find a better way of managing disease, responsibility and things I want to be a part of or I am going to make myself very sick again. It’s been awhile since I have been hospitable sick and I am hoping the above strategies will help me to refocus on staying healthy, physically and mentally. I’ll keep you updated on my progress and if you ever want to talk about how you’re doing just shoot me a message!
Just a little funny: After all of this time I decided I am going to post something! I signed into my admin page and updated my WordPress plugins, wrote my post and with great excitement, clicked the add new post button: This is what greeted me on my screen for 1/2 hour: (It says: Briefly unavailable for scheduled maintenance. Check back in a minute). Sigh…………………………
Once again thank you for letting me be a part of your journey and you being a part of mine. Keep fighting the good fight and through all of life’s challenges, may your days be filled with joy, peace and contentment.
Deena 🙂
